As a mental health therapist, I often emphasize the importance of self-awareness and reflection, but even I sometimes find myself wrestling with challenging emotions, particularly when it comes to family of origin frustrations. Recently, I had an experience that really brought the concept of validation into focus.
I was talking with a relative about how overwhelmed and, frankly, “crazy” I sometimes feel when I try to discuss old family dynamics. The frustrations build up, and sometimes I feel guilty or self-critical, questioning whether I’m overreacting. Then, we went to dinner recently with a cousin who unexpectedly validated my experiences. The conversation didn’t magically solve the family issues, but it did something incredibly important: it lessened the weight of my frustration.
I realized that what I had been missing was simple yet powerful—validation. Knowing that someone else sees things the same way I do helped me shed that layer of self-righteousness and frustration. It didn’t change the situation itself, but it shifted my perspective in a healthy way. I wasn’t the only one dealing with these feelings, and I didn’t need to feel like the “crazy” one.
This experience reinforced an important lesson: while we can’t change or control other people, we can change how we see and manage our reactions to them. Validation helps us reconnect with empathy—not just for others, but also for ourselves. And sometimes, we need to practice “empathic distance,” meaning we give ourselves permission to step back and view things from a distance, with understanding rather than judgment.
So, if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by family frustrations, remember—you’re not alone. Sometimes, all we need is for someone to say, “I get it,” and that reminder can be the key to restoring balance and peace within ourselves. You’re not crazy—you just need validation. And that’s something we all deserve.
If this resonates with you, feel free to reach out to my practice, where we can explore ways to navigate difficult emotions and find your own path to healing and self-compassion.
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